Why subscribe?

If you subscribe to this blog, your brain-size will immediately increase by a minimum of 10%. Furthermore I will send you $1000 in cash in the mail (I know where you live). If you don’t subscribe nothing will happen, except that you might wake up in an unknown place when you least expect it (again, I know where you live).

Who am I?

I am tenured professor of philosophy at 10 different universities worldwide (you wouldn’t know them - you’re probably too dumb) and know the solutions to all 6 “unsolved” millennium prize problems, but I won’t tell them to anyone.

My lawyer has advised me to say that everything stated here (including this sentence) is false.