There Are no Bad Arguments

Dude, everything is, like... relative

*poof*

The last thing you remember was ordering a shrimp-cocktail at the hotel bar, and… oh yeah and then a stray car tire crashing through the lobby. Next thing you’re here.

Looking around, you see only vast tufts of white wool-like texture. Well, apart from the big gate right in front of you. Might as we-

“I SMOTE YOU!” booms a voice from everywhere and nowhere at once, cutting off your train of thought.

“Uh, what?” you reply, a little taken aback.

“I SAID, I SMOTE YOU!” it repeats—being very slow to anger. “I’M GOD,” God continues, “AND I SMOTE YOU FOR ORDERING ONE TOO MANY SHRIMP COCKTAILS! DON’T YOU KNOW THE CRUELTY GOES ON IN THOSE FARMS?”

“I thought I was hit by a tire” you retort.

“I CAN SMITE YOU WITH A TIRE IF I WANT, CAN’T I?” God smartly replies, in his infinite wisdom.

“Good point… Well, anyways that seems a little unfair doesn’t it?” You rhetorically ask. “You could’ve just told me to stop eating shrimp.” [and to donate to the SWP.]

“I DON’T THINK IT’S UNFAIR. WHY SHOULD I THINK THAT?”

In this situation, what would you say to God to convince him? In the first instance you might worry that you are the one who should be convinced; since God is omniscient, testimony from him is pretty darn good evidence. But let’s suppose that this God isn’t full on big-O Omniscient. Rather he is a logically omniscient, perfect bayesian agent, with real-valued credences in relevant propositions, coherent with the probability axioms.

I then ask you again: What would you say to God to convince him? The answer: There’s nothing you could say. For any argument you give, God will already have considered the premises, considered the conclusion; and he will have credences in these such that he is not compelled to change any of them. There is no way you could rationally change his mind.

This example tells us an important lesson: There are no good or bad arguments. Or more precisely, there are no unqualifiedly good or bad arguments. Arguments are only good and bad relative to interlocutors.

I suspect (hope) that most philosophically inclined people realize this. Nevertheless, I still see signs of the naive belief in “smoking gun” arguments creep into many discourses—especially around religion and politics.